hmm.
i'm a really sad child.

lately i've been feeling so crappy, now i feel even crappier. (if that's even a word)
but anyhoos.

i really have no idea how to react.
everything sucks.
blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

okay i really think i am a retard that's emotionally unstable. i have some serious issues that i need to resolve, but i don't know what it is. i really need to know why i get super happy and why i get super sad. i have problems. maybe i over think things. i'm really not sure. i get really jolly then i'm suddenly just i don't know? haha. oh welllssss

merry christmas eve!

okay so i know i've been quite angry within my last blogs. I know, you blog readers must thing i'm a retard with emotions that fluctuate so easily and i'm rather unstable. BUT, guess what, i feel happy now. ahahahha. maybe i am a retard that's emotionally unstable? well today, i just ate whatever i wanted to, who cares about my wisdom teeth! As long as I'm satisfied then its all good =)

I went to the mall today, it was super crowded. Too crowded. I hate it. and then blah blah blah blah. Good news is that, I was pretty efficient today comparing to the last couple days. The last couple days, I just watched Anime, laid in bed, read Twilight, and ate soup. It got me all moody. and it also made me crave a lot of food. i couldn't stand it so i HAD to eat it before I go insane. But I must say, i get pretty freaking ridiculously irrational when i'm mad. ahhahahaha. SOMETIMES i make sense, i only make sense when i'm "starting" to get mad, but when i start going on and ranting, i am pretty irrational. i say a lot of things that aren't true. i feel like i say that to make myself feel better, or to find excuses to become even more angry. i just make unreasonable assumptions. forgive me please :) But, don't understimate me! I am sometimes reasonable. hehehhe. i like to sit down and have a casual conversation after my rampage. hehehe <3

blahhhhhhh.

i want to eat a lot of things. especially sushi.
i can't stand it. im super sad.
booooooooooooo

blahhhhhh.
this break sucks. i can't wait to go back to school.
i'm tired of everything.

im so mad. there's really nobody to talk to. except this stupid blog that doesn't even talk back. i don't know what to do. its really actually fucking ridiculous. i just can't believe some things sometimes. i really feel like writing out the meanest things possible, but i know i shouldn't just because i don't want anyone knowing anything.

im just really mad that everything seems so effortless.
phone calls and stupid short text messages are fucking BULLSHIT.

You
are
fucking
full
of
shit.

care for me my fucking ass.
"i've been trying" my fucking ass.
seriously, go look at the big picture you stupid fucking dumb fuck and get your stupid thick head out of the fucking clouds.

good for absolutely NOTHING.

oh great, i hear my dad talking about my teeth to his friends. he's really dumb. he thinks this is just some "regular" teeth and prices don't range that high. he's really dumb, all "Dentist" don't just know how to take out wisdom teeth. Wisdom teeth are surgically removed that's why certain dentist are specialized to take it out. he's really making a super big deal out of this. He came in my room today, acting all fake to me. acting like he "Cares." he always acts that way after i show how mad i am, but i'm not falling for that trick. he's stupid just like other people in my life. both stupid.

eh. i feel better from taking a nap.

i really want some sweets right now. yum. i also want some pasta.

i know i usually don't publicize my problems, but I AM JUST SO MAD.

so what does my dad and my boyfriend have in common?
THEY ARE BOTH STUPID.
AND I DONT NEED THEM IN MY FUCKING LIFE.

both are fucking useless, and causes my blood pressure to rise up ALL the fucking time.

I seriously need a NEW life. New everything.

It's disappointing when you can't count on someone to be there for you. You let it slide a couple times, but this time, im fucking outraged and so fucking angry. and there's nobody to fucking talk to and I don't care if I'm overreacting. Overreacting or not, this still counts for ALL OF THOSE TIMES THAT JUST FUCKING PISSES ME OFF.

My Stupid Dad

Hi, this is going to be a long blog about my dad's stupid views. Bare with me if you want to read, if you don't, then I dont care!

My dad is the stupidest dad in the whole entire universe. I know, what a harsh thing to say, but I must say, I really don't know if anyone else has a stupid dad as dumb as mine. He's not "literally" stupid, he just has the stupidest views on things.

So about 2-3 weeks ago, I went to the dentist for a "Cleaning." The dentist did some xrays and said that my wisdom teeth are growing. As lucky as I am, I only have 2 wisdom teeth, comparing the normal average person who has 4. He said that I needed to take them out because since I am young, my gums are soft and they can heal easily. If I'm older, my gums will be hard and it will take longer to heal (hurts more too) and also, my insurance is expiring so I should do it by the end of this year. (also they are pushing my teeth & it will make my teeth crooked) He referred to another dentist to do my wisdom teeth extraction. My dad found out that I had to get them pulled out, and he got extremely super butt hurt. He's mad that I have to pull them out. He told me to call to make an appointment. I made an appointment for this Friday (today) morning, he got mad because I didnt take to a "vietnamese" lady, it was an american lady. He said, "americans don't know anything." Then right after I called to make my appointment, he calls them too and ask to speak to a vietnamese lady to ask all the questions that I ask the american lady. He thinks I'm stupid and I didnt ask about the price and the xrays. Then he started saying shit to my mommy about me not knowing anything and that the american lady doesnt know anything. I'm like uh...I CALLED AND ASK THE SAME FUCKING QUESTIONS YOU DID. He ignores me, talks shit to my mommy again, then I opened my bedroom door and said, I ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING THAT YOU'RE TELLING MOM I ASK THE LADY TOO. He gets mad and looks at me, & says "I'm talking to YOUR mom." Then I was like, whatever, slammed my bedroom door. I hate when he treats me like I'm stupid. Why would he ask me to make an appointment, then get at mad for making an appointment?

So today, I went to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth pullen out. So apparently, my insurance can't cover it all because I used about 300 something on the first appointment for cleaning teeth an xrays. And so, I had to get a really expensive extraction because my wisdom teeth hasn't grown out, it's still inside my gum so it cost about 750 for 1 teeth. I only got one pullen out, so I have to wait for next time. So my dad had to pay a balance of $145. It's really not my fault that my wisdom teeth hasn't "Grown" out or the type of "Extraction" that I needed was expensive, but he blamed it all on me. Made it extremely more complicated then it really is. So after I got my ONE wisdom teeth pullen out. I went home and all I hear is bitching. Bitching about my teeth. uh..sorry? He said, I should have pulled them out sooner, because I had more money in my insurance last year. He said it was my fault, and I don't know anything. I couldn't argue, because I can't talk, I feel like my mouth is full of saliva and blood. hahah. So I was sooooo angry but I couldn't talk! I just made a mad face and rolled my eyes. He said, "in vietnam we didnt need to pull it out, America always makes us do uneccesary things." And saying that, when you're older, your wisdom teeth falls out. Uh.....when I heard that, i was so mad, because i couldnt talk! WISDOM TEETH FALLING OUT? haha, nice one, thats the best one i've heard. He's so dumb. Then he kept comparing it to Vietnam, this is FUCKING AMERICA. He kept going on and on nonstop about blah blah, talking about our dentist just wants our money and blah blah. I was in my room, listening to it all, getting so annoyed and upset because I couldn't argue back. I could just write it down. He kept saying the same thing over, I really don't know what his problem is. I don't know why he's blaming me for something natural. He blamed me for my appendicitus back in Senior year in high school. I'm sorry my surgery cost $30,000. But whats the big deal, we had insurance that covered it. It was ridiculous. He blames me for things that shouldn't be blamed for. Well if I had died from appendicitis, a funeral is cheaper if thats what he wanted. Yes, sorry dad that go to college and its expensive, but he doesn't help me anyways! I am on my OWN. Damn! I get so mad thinking about him.

anyways, my numbness is wearing out. so it's starting to hurt. =(

Also, funny thing happened, at first I thought it was a coincidence that me and danny were going to get our wisdom teeth out this friday, but what turned out even COOLER was that, while I was at the receptionist desk, Danny walks in! ahahaha. Same place, same time. Isn't that amazing? ahahahaha. He got all 4 taken out though. hehehe.

So during the procedure, it didn't hurt. I just felt a lot of pressure but thats it. Now its starting to hurt. My mouth feels gross. Also, so the room had this scent, at first I thought it smelled good, then it got too strong. I felt so sick. Extremely sick, and nauseous. I wanted to barf. After my they took out one of my wisdom teeth, the doctor was explaining to me what to do post-wisdom teeth extraction, I was standing there, sick to my stomach. I told my mommy to drive. While I was walking out, I was so sick, I was going to barf. Really bad. ahahaha. I started wobbling, then I felt the knott in my tummy, and I ran to the trees, but nothing came out. Just lots of saliva. ahahahaha. It was either, I was scared shitless of getting my teeth pullen out, or it was the fume, or both. I dont know, but I felt super sick. I feel better now.

and my whole right side of my mouth, is in pain. =(

Wednesday

hehehehehhehee.

i think im weird. sometimes i feel really angry and then sometimes i feel really happy. I have one more final at 6pm. Even though finals week is hectic, i really enjoy it. I like how I don't have class, I just have finals. Then after finals, I like how I know I have a break and that the quarter is finally over. Yay after today I'm free, I'm going to celebrate finishing finals with a great amount of sleep. haha. Yesterday I wanted to stay up really late for my ochem final since it was at 8am, but sadly, I couldn't function at 1:30am. I was sad. I ended up falling asleep at 2:30am. Within that hour interval, I "attempt" to study, but I don't think it worked out? So I went to my final unprepared x)
I wish I studied earlier, hehe, i say that to all of my finals and all of my midterms. I am just the biggest slacker ever.

I'm sitting here eating, and I really want to nap, but I am so unprepared for my final at 6pm. I feel sorry for Truffles, lately he's been alone in the room due to the lack of being at home. I seem to only be home to sleep. Poor little fella. It's okay, he'll be spoiled with love over the winter break.

oh i can't wait till finals are overrr =)

uh...fuck you bitch

off track

i got off track studying because of vilinh.

she's so funny.
oh vilinh. you and your fantasies.
<3

Animal Biochem & Metabolism Final

OMG. how could i FUCKING FORGET TO STUDY THE GI TRACT AND DIGESTION!!!!!!!!
why did i just study the breakdown of starch and the chemical structures and the types of bonds but not study the freaking DIGESTION PART!!!!! Ahhhhhhh!

1st page:
2 questions on drawing breakdown/chemical structures of starch
2 questions on drawing the digestive portion
GG.

fuck life!

but on the good side, 2nd & 3rd page had glycolysis, Electron Transport Chain, and ATP synthase.

hopefully i didnt mess up those ones.


good game life.

i wish i had somebody to talk to.

I use to think I had something good going for me. Now I realize, school is all that I only have. The only thing I have to keep me going.


Sometimes what may be the best thing for you do could be the hardest thing you have to do.

Food

I write too many blogs. But I don't care! (i've been blogging everyday. ahahahha ) I think I overestimate on how much I can eat. I always feel "SUPER" hungry. Then I get the food, I can't even finish half of what I order. I have a big belly, so I thought I could fit a lot of things in there, but I guess not!


-______________-

save me.

I also lost my voice from being sick. heheh. so my voice is very cracky and deep. and from here and there, I'd sneeze, sniffle my nose, wipe my nose with a tissue, cough, and attempt to clear my throat. SEXY ISN'T IT?

Fog Again

So I just went to get some food. I went outside, and it was extremely foggy. This fog is seriously SO thick. I've never ever experience a fog like this ever. It's super thick. Even walking around you can see the mist. Everything was dark on the road, barely any cars, I was driving in the dark, ah what an experience! I really wish somebody was here with me to experience this so we can play in the fog together. It's REALLY cool. I drove really slow because I couldn't see anything. I really like it, it felt like I was driving through a whiff of clouds. And it was also actually kind of scary. Maybe the fog is really a bunch of ghosts having a party. That's why it's cold and misty! ahaha. I want this fog to stay for awhile. Makes me feel weird. I just checked the weather, its 32 degrees here! Foggy and cold <3 I really like it, sighhh. It makes me feel sad in way. I wish I can't wake up with feeling happy and cozy. Everytime I wake up here, I feel so alone and empty.

The Fog

I woke up this morning around 7am and then left to school about 7:30am. oh my, there is heavy thick thick fog. AND it was freezing, like 37 degrees outside. I don't know, something about this fog, makes me like it. The whole campus is fogged and it feels really "eerie." When I'm walking around, it feels as if I'm in a dream. I also feel like I'm in a different realm, like there's a world outside that's bright and sunny. This foggy campus seems to match my mood and emotions, because the spots that I can only see is where I walk. When I look far into the distance, I can't make out the full picture, just bits of the tree linings, human figures walking, and the silhouettes of the different buildings. Maybe this is how it feels like to be inside a cloud. When I'm on the airplane and I look outside the window, I can see the clouds below as if it's casting a smokey blanket across the cities and towns. It also looks really soft and I want to lay on it, but I know I'd just fall right through.

I like feeling like I'm in a dream.

A Date with Myself

So I went on a date with myself today. ( just like i said i would)
Also this is my 3rd blog in the same day. (again) ahahah.

My date:

So I got home from work. I got ready so I can look good for my date. But sadly, my date did not like the way I looked. My date said I didn't look good the whole day because I looked sick and tired with oily hair. I agree. ahahaha. oh gosh, I'm a sad little child. I went inside my car to pick up my date, but what do you know? My date was already inside the car. PROMPT. i like that. heheh. I played some music so my car can warm up and after we went to go eat. I got great parking because I am VIP duh. Well actually, when me and my date walked to the restaurant it said "closed." I was like, wtfff? It has those stupid time intermediates where it's not open between the hours of so and so. It was only 4 something. It opened again at 5pm. So me & my date had to walk all the way back to the car. We just studied in the car. Then finally, 5 o'clock came right around the corner and we went inside the restaurant. DAMN you know what, I had the best service. Whoever thought eating by yourself would give you such great service? hehehehhe. Maybe that, or...maybe the waiter felt sorry for me. hehe. I was uh..pretending to occupy myself by taking out my notes and "studying." I was reading it, but nothing was processing through my brain. Well whatever, as long as I looked studious. ahahahaha. I'm funny. I got myself an apetitizer, and then the main dish. oh boy was I satisfy. Me and my date couldn't finish it all, so we took the rest home. While I was eating, I was thinking to myself, there's nobody in the world that I rather be here with, then my date.

eh? I'm weird.

Another Blog

im sick right now, who wants to take care of mee ? :)

Requirements:
1. sexy please.
2. wrap me in a warm blanket and serve me foood

ahahahahha. im just kidding. I am sick though. And I wish my mommy could take of me, but I'm a big girl now, I have to take of myself. I'm at work. Earlier I wrote a blog at work too, but I kind of finish what I was assigned to do so I decided to write another one. I wish I could think of something funny, but I can't recall any funny memories. I can't wait to get off work. I am going to treat myself to a really nice meal today. I really deserve it. ok, maybe I don't deserve it that much, but just for today I do. I might just go eat by myself in a restaurant like a loner. Is that weird? Eating by yourself? Well, I'll just call it a date. A date with myself. hehehe. Nobody has to know, but since whoever read my blogs knows now...oh well. They don't know WHERE I'm eating =) I'll just bring my school work and pretend to study so I won't look that much of a loser. hehehhe. Or should I get it to go and bring it home? I don't know. hmm. what should I do?

ah oh well. A date today, can't wait :)

Last Labs

I want to write a blog but I don't know what to write about. This week, I had my last labs, although I have 2 labs again next quarter. I am relieved and happy! We did something pretty cool in our ochem lab this week. it's always the last labs that are the most interesting huh? Well, we did this thing with amino acids. It was cool, but the smell of this one solution we had to put in made me feel really sick. But it only seemed to bother me, everyone else seemed rather fine. I was the only who was looking around the lab room, thinking to myself how sick I felt. I felt so nauseous from the fumes. For the whole day, I felt like that solution was inside everything I was eating, but thats over now.

I want to go on a vacationnnnn

Vending Machines

Who ever invented vending machines is a genius! It's very convenient. It seriously has everything, noodles, coffee, energy drinks, soda, power bars, snacks, candies, ice cream, and even...frozen food that you can heat up! If your school doesn't have vending machines like my school, then you best change to a different school. I like going to class and getting cookies and gardettos. =) It tastes the best during a boring lecture. As a matter of fact, I will go ahead and do that today since I have class @ 12:10. hehehe.

laterssss


* Also I notice I wrote 3 blogs in one day. LAME

Annoying Things

I'm starting to get easily annoyed again. Maybe because my wonderful period is coming, or because my emotions fluctuates easily, but whatever it is! It's getting me irritated really easily.

Things that are annoying to me:
-unresponsive people = annoying as fuck.
-liars, excuses, explanations that are uncalled for = annoying
-problems = annoying
-PEOPLE are annoying.


But on the brighter note, most of the time on aim, if i don't answer you, it's not because i'm not there, its because i dont FUCKING WANT TO ANSWER YOU.

Nothing Special

Finals are coming up. Isn't that a wonderful thing? It's wonderful because, winter break is coming closer. Also, next week I'm taking a flight down to San Diego on December 11th, Thursday. Feel free to join me if you want. (only if you're a fun person) I end finals on a Wednesday. It is the very first time I end Finals early.

Also, Davis has been really foggy. It's like super extremely to ultimate maxors foggy. Looks like we're in Silent Hill everyday. From morning till night. It's kind of scary, but at the same time, kind of sexxxayy! lol. Just kidding. It's scary, but interesting. It hasn't been this foggy for awhile, but I've been feeling like I'm in a haunted video game. It also makes me lazy to get up because I'm freezing.

Any hoos, see you kids latersss =)

hi

i want to skip work and nap, but i sadly can't.