Today

Today I woke up around 12pm. I don't have any classes on Tuesdays. I went on campus to the Nutrition Department and talked to an advisor. Then after that, I went inside the Science Lab Building and got some coffee. I really like White Mocha Iced. It taste so good. Then I passed by the BLC and saw you know! ahahaha. but I had nothing to ask him so I couldn't walk in. So I went to the library and did my math homework. After that I went back to my apartment to drop off my math book and I grabbed my Ochem book and went back to the library. Then I saw Tammy and all that great stuff. We went home around 9pm and that was interesting day! byee!

My Bad Anxieties

First thing's first, Happy birthday to Vu! Stop being a witto baby. You're 20 now so man up! It's okay, he already got his present. I hope you have a wonderful birthday and all your wishes come true!

Anyways, today I had a Biology midterm. I am so sad. So I have this horrible anxiety problem right before/during and sometimes after my midterms. Today I had really bad horrible one for biology. Right after my math class, I had to go take my midterm. My math class is located in Haring Hall 2205, and my examination is at SocSci 1100. And for those of you who don't know, they are so far away from each other! So I had to rush to the socsci building. I came in and I couldn't even find a seat! Because we had to sit every other seat. I'm so sad. Then I got my midterm, then I was panicking. I kept flipping through all the papers, I read the questions so fast. I didn't read them carefully. My heart was just beating so fast and I couldn't think. Gosh. I'm so sad. =( Oh well. I guess the best thing I can say is, I'll do better on my next exam? I will try to control my anxiety problems. I hate having bad anxiety problems. It just makes me so nervous and then I blank out and I can't control it.

LOL. omg my sister is so fucking funny. Guess what she did to me! Okay first, last time when we got into this "fight" she deleted me from facebook. Deleting people is so retarded. I did that before to like ONE person on MYSPACE, but that was when I was younger and besides, I don't even have a myspace anymore. so ANYWAYS, lolol Yeh she's just SO MATURE RIGHT? For an older person, she's really mature isn't she? (she's 22) So then she added me again when we were "cool" with each other. Then GUESS WHAT HAPPEN NOW? Since we are "fighting" she put me on her limit profile! LOL. She's sooo fucking funny I swear. If you guys don't know what "limit profile" is, its basically like deleting someone, but instead allowing them to see NOTHING. You're still their "Friend" but you can't see there pictures/wall post or anything. She's just such a mature person isn't she? I haven't even done anything! I just go to school, study, kdphi, and play with truffles. She probably read my blog and can't handle the truth. lol. She's ridiculous because she has personal issues. She's grumpy for no reason. So her major is psychology. How can you possibly be a psychologist if you NEED to see a psychologist yourself? She's such a nazi! LOL. i hope nobody ever have a sister like her!

Anyhoos, he's SO CUTE! you know who I'm talking about =)

My Crush

I DIDN'T SEE MY CRUSH TODAY!
Well actually, I saw him passing by coho today. Gosh I'm such a creeper. Aren't I funny? I didn't go see my crush because I couldn't find anything to ask him. darn. perhaps next time I will think of something. At least I get to see him tomorrow!

Nothing Interesting

I feel like writing because I am bored. I'm in davis right now. I don't think I can ever go back home now. I sadly will never have a ride there and back.

Things I want To Do:
1. the beach & tan my legs
2. the tide pools
3. shopping
4. the planetarium
5. get a hair cut
6. eat sushi
7. go to a far away place
8. buy a new swim suit
9. the Monteray Aquarium
10. heal my finger
11. find a job/work in a lab
12. sit at a view

13. sweep me off my feet.

I Need To Find A Remedy

A remedy for...
my life.
& my feelings.

today was interesting.
just kidding. it wasn't.
it was just another day of school.
i first went to my favorite class at 10am. <3
then i studied in the library for like 4 hours with david. Then me & david went to go take our math midterm.
anyways, my fingered got injured. i don't know what happened. it happened so fast. lol.
then i went to san francisco and presented to the berkely lambdas that just crossed.
now i am back in my apartment in davis.

ps. it's also not saturday, it's actually friday.

i need an uplifting experience.
if you can light up my fire, then please do.

My Latest Crush

okay its actually not really Friday, it's just pass 12am. So then I visited my latest crush today. His name shall remain a secret. LOL. He's perfect: tall, intellectual, handsome, and funny! How better can he get? At first I was scared and nervous to see him, because I was thinking, what will I ask him? But then I thought to myself, why should I be nervous! He's actually very easy going, and very intelligent. Intelligence in a guy is so attractive. He's so cool. He makes me laugh and giggle. I even laugh to myself reading this paragraph. I decided, I'm going to see him more often. Now Vu might get jealous because I see my crush more then I see him. I think I want to visit my crush more often. My schedule is, 3 lectures, 1 discussion AND YOU KNOW THE REST! =)

lol.

Today's Encounters

Biology Lab 3
Today was my 3rd lab for Biology. We basically counted the population of the Protozoans that were living in the solution. Well we had to create our own experiment kind of. Our group did the population growth of high, medium, and low nutrients for the interval of 30 days. The protozoans looked cute. They were really small so we had to look at them through the microscope and count them. I felt bad for them because after when we were done with them, we washed them down the drain. Poor protozoans. I would be sad if I was used for an experiment and then flushed down.

Phases
I am going through a phase of "life" issues right now. I realized I have a lot of opportunities to start my career right now, but for some reason, I was never aware of it until now. I notice that every science class I come across, a person would come in and offer a speech. A speech of undergraduate research programs, clubs, and studying abroad. I never listened to them, and I actually did take it into consideration this time. I realized, if I were to take those opportunities, it could actually be my future career! So then I did wanted to join one of the undergraduate research programs, but the deadline was March 31st. I was too late, but also I looked at the application requirements, it said two letters of recommendation. I don't know how I would get that, but since that I am aware of what it takes to be part of a research program, I think I will stop half-assing all my effort in things. So from now (i hope) I will manage to have more motivation. College really is your future. Also, I am one of the sad people who don't have a car in college. So how will I get to my destination? It's okay, my mommy told me I should be getting one by the end of this school year so if all goes well, then I am happy?

No Service

I am really bothered right now. My phone has no service. I don't know why. It's been like 4 hours since it hasn't had any service. Is this normal? I hate having no service, it's like having no phone. My phone had service today until around like 3pm. It doesn't have service anymore! grr. I don't know, maybe it's the cell phone or something because I am just in my apartment in Davis and it normally has service. Right now it doesn't. I wonder whats wrong, it was working fine earlier. If it doesn't have service by tomorrow, I guess i have to waste money and buy a new phone. Well first I am going to stop by the Verizon store then check what's going on. I haven't dropped my phone lately. Well I threw it earlier because it didn't have any service and it was making me mad. The bars are full but nothing goes through. I even went outside to check if it works. It doesn't. I know this happened to me before but, it was never this long. I think it might be my phone or maybe the headquarters Verizon nearby? I have no idea. I might have to buy a new phone. That sucks.

dot . dot. dot.

Yesterday i went to Swirls with Tammy. Tammy ate her yogurt so fast. She's fat. Then we went to the gas station and got chips. After we sat on our beds, and i was learning her life story. Very interesting. Then Tammy left to go to a lambda lil sis thing and then to the XPO party. I was home just doing my math homework. I got so frustrated doing it, but I manage to finish it. I feel better. My sister is just going to one of those people who will never change. I just came back from school. I was sitting at the coffee house for hours then I decided to finally go back to my apartment. I have class again at 4 o'clock. I'm sad, I have to stay in Davis this weekend. I guess it's okay, i can do something productive. I went home and Tammy left me a note on my bed that she went back home. So i am all alone. Life is whatevers.

A Letter To My Sister

I deleted my other post about my sister because i decided, i wanted to write her a letter instead. Even if she never reads it, i don't care.

Dear Sister My-Phuong,

Hello. I just wanted to tell you that i don't like you. In fact, i really despise you in many ways. I don't think you treat me like a sister. I am at the utmost excited for you to graduate so you can get the fuck out of this apartment. I am also at the utmost excited for you to study abroad in Japan so you can also get the fuck out of this country. I think having you in my life causes me unecessary drama and a high blood pressure to my health. I notice, you are always the one that gets on my last nerves. I really can't stand being around you. It's only a few moments that you're nice. When you're nice, i think that you're changing into a new person, but i guess not. You end up being the same grumpy bitch like you always are. You are meaner to me then you are nice. I also think you're a very shady person. I can make a list of the time it started since we decided to go to college.
First of all, you blame me for you having to go to UC Davis. I didn't make you go to Davis. I could have been far happier if you went to UC San Diego. Even if mom & dad wanted you to go to Davis for me, it wasn't my fault. Trust me, my life probably would have been way better if you didn't go to Davis. Also, you said kdphi ruined your college, when u think about it, who was the one who picked up the kdphi flyer? Who went to rush all by herself? Who got mad at me for not wanting to go to rush with you? If I'm not wrong, I am pretty sure it was you who did all of that. Yes, i was the one who decided to accept the bid, but i also was the one who never thought of joining any type of sorority too. It was all you. I only came out for you. You have no one to blame but yourself.
Also, last year when we lived at Suntree. It was really shady of you for charging me rent even though i lived in the living room. I only lived in the living room because you got mad at me for talking on the phone at night but then like always, its always okay for you to do things but not others. It was okay for you to talk on the phone at night right? I had to pay the full rent when i should have been paying less. You had your nice little cozy room all to yourself. Whenever Vu came up to visit me, when me & him went to go eat somewhere, we would ask if you wanted anything without CHARGING you. Of course you'd take advantage of that opportunity, you would take anything that's free to you. Yes, we got into many fights last year, and you thought i was disrespecting you, when all i really was doing was defending myself. All you do is boss people around and you're grumpy for no reason. You like to take out your mood on everyone so they can be like you.
Also, remember all the times when i have to find my own ride home to Davis? Because you're too shady to wait. I don't know why you're in a hurry, but im you're sister, you're suppose to wait for me, but you're so selfish. You just care about yourself and you being at home. So what if i go to vu's house instead of my real house, if it was the other way around, you know i'd wait for you. You left me many times in davis so your selfish-ass can go home. You probably don't know this but sometimes mom & dad had to call me and OFFER to drive me home because you're shadyass can't wait. Don't you think thats kind of fuck up that mom & dad have to offer me a ride because you are so selfish that you can't wait? And you still haven't learn, you still can't wait. Vu wasted his gas so many times driving up here to pick me up. You're so inconsiderate, all you think about is yourself.
You are also shady because whenever i buy eggs, bread, ham, drinks, i let you have some, FOR FREE. Whenever you buy something, you always have to throw in some money offer like it's a good deal. That's seriously, really fucking shady. We're sisters, why charge? But to you, you're just shady. Charge for everything. Charge for some "chicken, bread, eggs, etc..." It's so annoying. When i went to eat sushi with Tammy, i got the spider roll for you and didn't even charge you. I know if it was you, you'd probably charge me twice the money. I should have charge you, because you charge me for everything.
I also think you're really rude. You're rude to truffles and he doesn't do anything to you. You treat him so bad when he's just a dog. So tell me, who the one who fucking decided to keep truffles right when he was born? It was YOU and there you go again, pulling off some shady shit and returning him. You did that to moomoo, and everyone knew you were going to do that truffles. That's why, he wasn't yours to begin with. All you do is call truffles rude names and treat him like shit. You're really fucking ridiculous and need to quit treating things like you're so much higher then them.
To conclude, i think you're really fucked up. All you do is make side comments, say rude things, and think you're always right. You govern this apartment like a totalitarism. You are just like dad. You put up signs everywhere, and bitch about you having to clean when YOU voluntarily do it yourself. You don't hear me bitching, i clean the toilet, i ALWAYS dump out the trash. All you do is complain about your life and how there's nothing to live for. If you really think that, then why don't you just fucking end your life? WHY DON'T YOU JUST KILL YOURSELF? I really don't see why your life is bad. You have a loving boyfriend that you REALLY don't deserve. I don't understand why you're so ungrateful for the things you have and why you're always grumpy. You have no reason to be. Why don't you just fucking stop taking things up the ass and suck it up. You're really fucking ridiculous.

Blah

Today i worked out with Tammy. We were really productive. I ran lots of laps. I lost count of what i ran, but it made me feel better. I'm not feeling well. By not feeling well, not meaning sick, its my mood. I have all these ups and down. One minute i would be happy, then another i would hate my life. My mood fluctuates a lot. I don't know. Nobody in my life seems helpful. everyone sucks. i'm going to sleep now.

Truth

So I am back in Davis. Gross. I had a cool wonderful weekend. I hanged out with the special girlfriends and the regular group. Gosh i really like being home. I hate Davis. Everyone in Davis is gay. All they care about is partying. So I unpacked everything already and now I'm sitting here writing a blog. Everytime I'm back in Davis, I have this grumpy feeling. I just end up thinking about...my life here and my life back home. I messed up my chances for things here. I went to college for COLLEGE. Then I fucking messed it up my first year. I'm doing fine now, but I know for a fact I could have done way better. Stupid things got in the way, but it's okay. I learned from it and know that it won't happen again. I really can't wait till the day I graduate. Once I graduate, I can escape. I don't hate Davis itself, I like the college. I just really despise what I got myself into. And I really don't care if people "talk" they need to grow up if they do. I don't know about them, but I know I came here not to be in anything intentionally but just to be a student. I am speaking my honest truth, and I know it could be offensive. I just wish I could rewind and be smarter. I really can pick out the things I need in my life. I mean yeh, I met some pretty cool people up here that I really like. No regrets in meeting them at all, but I know that they are just my college friends. I don't really think I'm going to keep in touch with anyone here after I graduate. Only very few people that probably going to be in my life after. I am totally fine with that because I already have my special girlfriends back home, my boyfriend, friends, and my family. That's all I really need. I'm a person where I like to keep it close within people. I don't like large groups of supposedly "friends" or whatever. I keep it to a few. No doubt, I've known these people really long. My girlfriends, I grew up them, friends ever since we were like what, 5 years old? My boyfriend, (Vu) I've been with him for like 3 years and 8 months. My friends, been friends with them for a couple of years. My family, well i only like my parents and my OLDEST sister. because they are the only ones i count as family.

blahhhhh. everytime i come back to Davis.
i want to go back home and be there forever.

The Same Day

This post is the same day but i just happen to write it pass 12am. I am also not feeling grumpy anymore. I feel normal. So today i woke up at 6:40am because i had a wonderful biology lab at 7:30am-10:20am. Lab was interesting. I like these labs a lot better then chemistry labs. Even though for biology, we do take up the whole 3 hours or so but its more interesting. This is the first week of school and we learned about biodiversity. It's funny in lab because there's only 9 students. Usually there's about 24-28 students, but sadly nobody wanted such an early lab time. I either had the choice of really early, or really late. I rather choose early because it's my only class on thursday. I can just go home and take a nap after im done with lab. For lab my group went to the Greenhouse to collect 8 samples of different parts of the environment. We had to find the number of species and stuff. The Greenhouse was so humid. I thought i was going to faint. Then after that we did all these calculations and drew an exponential graph. Lab wasn't too bad. My lab mates were interesting people. Well i was the only girl but that's okay. Not many girls in the morning or something. Our TA for lab was so nice. He bought us strawberries, coffee, and cookies. What kind of TA does that for their students? I'm glad i have him. I usually have fob TA's. I had fob ones for my chemistry labs, and my first bio discussion for the first series. (im on 2ndpart of the series now) I had a white TA for my chem2c lab, and now i have a white one for bis2b! White TA's are nice. The fob ones were nice too (because they couldn't speak english), except my bio one. He was so strict, and half the time, i didn't know what he was explaining. I think i really like my classes this quarter. The only class i don't like is my organic chemistry class. The Professor is really weird. He laughs and giggles to himself. When he talks, his words are all mushed up and overlapping each other so i don't understand him. My english teacher is really enthusiastic. I like her, i think she's cute. I have a feeling i will learn alot from her. My calculus professor is cute too. He's this little old man that looks like Santa Claus.

I've also been going to the ARC to work out with Tammy. I know, how surprising right? I'm actually working out. I just feel so out of shape and all jiggly. Hopefully i can keep up this good schedule. I actually feel better about myself now. I'm being more organize and learning to manage my time better. I wished i started off like this, but i sadly i started off in a pile of mess, but i guess mistakes are for the better sometimes. Learning from mistakes are, i guess you can say, the best way to learn? Gosh i have a retarded schedule tomorrow. I have this 5 hour gap. Oh well, hopefully i can utilize my time in between those hours. I usually sit around and do nothing. I feel much better about myself. Since I also put alot of thought into what I've been thinking about lately. I think I know who's who now. I don't think I will care much about what's not important to me, and who matters to me and who doesn't. I am my very own person. I belong to nobody but myself. I get to decide who to keep and who to let go. I feel so much better now. Maybe I sound crazy because earlier I was venting about annoying things, but that's okay because people have their bad days and their good days. Who doesn't vent about things that irritates them? I feel better now.

Tomorrow I am going home. YES! i am so happy. Ngoc is taking me back home. I was suppose to go to the Lambda party with Tammy and Ngoc but i decided i didn't want to because Tammy was going to sleep over Ngoc's house so nobody could take me back to my apartment. But in all good use of time, I did my english assignments, AND i finish my 2nd pre-lab for biology! Gosh im such a good student now =) Lab isn't until next thursday! But its pre-lab is due every Monday at 9am, but i finished it. I have more free time for the weekend. I'm so happy. okay that's all i have to say. Goodbye!

Irritating Types of People

I get irritated when:

1. When someone is so shady. its soo annoying. Like honestly, i think it's so stupid if you charge people for stupid things and you guys are family. What family member charges prices for each other? i know im not like that. I don't charge for eggs or bread or whatever. That's stupid. If i bought it, then i bought it and they can have some. Its also stupid how if you're family, you can't even wait for one another to get out of class to go home. I know many people that would wait, but some people are just so damn selfish and they won't even wait for their own siblings. it's fucking stupid. Making other people like their boyfriend having to drive UP to davis, pick me up, then drive back. It's unecessary and a fucking waste of gas money. WHO FUCKING DOES THAT? if i had a little sister, i'd wait for her. If i buy food, i'd let them have some without charging money. Especially because this doesn't happen ONCE, it ALWAYS FUCKING HAPPEN. gosh that's shady. SHADY. i hate shadyass family members.

2. I hate people who don't know their priorities. I know everyone has their own individual priorities, but some people SERIOUSLY needs to know which ones will benefit them in the future, and which ones that won't. i mean its cool to have a good experience in college, but seriously, FOCUS on school and graduate. What's the point of going to college if you're just going to fuck up and put other things first. Things that take up your whole damn time. Sorry, but YOU AREN'T my priority and will never ever be. You are like this annoyingass boyfriend i have in davis that expects me to be there for everything. Get your shit straight you dumb fuck up.

3. People who talk to me ONLY when they have problems in their life. Don't talk to me if you're going to just ramble about yourself. it's stupid and it's not bonding time, and its NOT CATCHING UP EITHER. It's just talking about yourself. People who ramble on about their problems, and then when you say something about your problems, they would be like "lol" or they don't answer unless you ask them something about themselves. It's stupid how SO MANY people are like that. it's fucking annoying. It's always about "me me me me me" shut up. i don't even want to talk to them. So sorry if this relates to anyone that i talk to. I think it's just selfish of a person to do that because there's no point in being there for someone if they can't do the same to you. So please, don't talk to me until you're ready to be CONSIDERATE BACK.

4. People who ONLY think having fun involves drinking, clubbing, etc. There are other ways to have fun. If you have fun drinking, clubbing, drugs or whatever, then thats YOUR own personal enjoyment, for some others it might not be the same. People who think blah blah doesn't know how to have fun because they don't party or whatever the fuck doesn't mean they are boring. It's means they find OTHER ways to have fun. If the other person finds that stuff boring, then don't do it. Go party or whatever you need to TO have fun. the definition of fun isn't define as "drinking, clubbing, drugs, etc." FUN can be referred to as ANYTHING. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ANNOYINGASS FAG CLUB PROMOTERS. GO FIND A REAL JOB, instead of a job where you wear skankyass clothes that looks fucking ugly because some of you guys are fat. And seriously, you are NOT cool as you think you are. GROW THE FUCK UP.


Thats all. yeh im having a grumpy day but i don't care. Because those things are soo irritating. I know im NOT the only one that feels this way. And if this offends some of you guys, it must be perhaps that you find some guilt in what im saying because you could be in some part of this. maybe i am referring to a certain group of people are "person." or i could be generalizing it. It doesn't matter because i said what was annoying, and it's always been annoying to me.