Challenge

So sometimes people seem smart, but they aren't.
I think I'm one of them. I'm not smart. I'm not intelligent. I'm actually just the "average" student. I am not as smart as some people may think I am. Maybe I have potential, just maybe... I could be positive, and pretend to be optimistic, but really, I am pessimistic. I actually don't handle things well and I am cynical. So don't think I am a smart student, I only pretend to be.

I only pretend to be.

Now I'm going to max out my credit card on a shopping spree.

i like waking up and having nothing to worry about!
not a single care in the world...
i feel better already!

Done with Finals

I'm so happy to finally be done with my finals. As of right now, I look cracked out. haha. I think pretty much everyone does. Schools finally over. Just for one week though. Then I have summer school.

I'm sad. I'm going to miss seeing my crush on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at 10am. Even though I stopped going to class, when I went on the last day, I regret not going to class. But I saw him for the last time today when I took my final. lol. I'm creepy. I make myself laugh.

ahaha

New Start

taking a break from my studies again....

Even though I hate to study for finals because it feels like I'm cramming in a bunch of crap, I like finals because I know my classes are coming to an end.

I can't wait to begin a whole new school year with new classes.
I think junior year will be my best year of college
because everything will start all over again, this time, I really mean it.
I feel more determined, devoted, and dedicated!

A brand new start. :)

I think I write in this blog too often. I write in here probably because its the only friend that's here for me whenever I want to project my thoughts, feelings, emotions, and what not. I think I hate a lot of things. Maybe I get annoyed really fast or something. I'm at stage in my life again where my emotions likes to fluctuate. I know, a week ago I was talking about how happy I was but suddenly my mood shift again. I'm a person where I don't like to publicize my problems and I don't like to talk to people about my problems. For the people who know me, have I ever actually talked about myself to you? I think not. I've never personally told them my inner feelings and emotions or just in general, my problems. It's always them ranting on about what goes on in their life and their problems and what not. To think of it, they probably don't even know me as well as I know them. I hate people who gossip to me about everyone and everything. I often wonder to myself, why do they know so much? I find it annoying because I don't care. I hate when I'm not in the mood to hear about problems, but they talk nonstop about it. After all, the world does not completely revolve around them, because I too, have problems too. But I will never have the heart to tell them that frankly, I really could care less about hearing it. In general, I really don't like talking to people who have a bunch of drama in their life. I know, I sound a tad bit mean, but I am pretty sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. I speak for others. I don't like being bombarded with people's issues. oh, this is off topic, but I hate when people ask so many rhetorical questions. I feel like they are doing it on purpose.

I hate caring for people who don't seem to care for me as much. I hate the word caring. I wish caring remained an option instead of being natural. Why can't I just not care. I hate how I'm the one who cares for those who don't care. I hate being let down and I hate be disappointed. I hate how everyone becomes someone I don't want them to be. That's why I absolutely hate caring.

Yes I know, I'm pretty abnormal.
but thats okay.
because.
you don't have to read it.

Years to Come

I just woke up about 30 minutes ago. I wish I was a morning person. My habits of waking up is a lot better now then it was before. Before I use to wake up around 8pm, 6pm, 5pm, and so on. If I had plans with friends, I use to consider 3pm as early! But now my waking up habits are better. I guess, thanks to my roommate. She wakes up early all the time. In fact, she wakes up naturally. Instead of me, I have to force myself to wake up.

I remember when I was young, I use to think that going to high school was a big step. When I graduated Middle School I couldn't believe that I was going to "high school." When I got into high school, I thought I was getting old. The thought of graduating high school was my final step. I never thought that I'd go to college. Well I knew was going to college, but I did not have any plans for myself. I thought I was just going to just go to a community college. Now here I am, I would say, a Junior at a University now. (since I'm taking taking finals, I'm practically a Junior) And again, the sudden thought occurred to me, I'm getting old. This time, I really mean it. My first 2 years of college past right before my eyes. So that means, my next 2 years will pass before my eyes. I still can't believe I may be on the verge to graduate college. And, what do I plan to do after I graduate college? I have a plan that I PLAN to follow through.

I think being successful isn't making all the money in the world. I define success as doing what you love. Making a career out of your passion. And no, I'm not one of students like every other student who wants to be a "doctor." Do they really want to be a doctor? I doubt it. I sometimes think people choose certain majors to make themselves look smart. Call me blunt or whatever, I really don't think like 90% of the students are going to succeed at becoming a doctor. Yes, I know, I'm crushing some people's dreams but I think they should try finding something they enjoy to do and not let others (like parents) decide for them. And for those people who keep on switching majors, I just think they haven't found their passion yet. Some people are just born right off the slate knowing what they want to do. For me, I have no idea why I chose to be part of the biological science field. I remember applying for colleges my senior year of high school, I chose that major for all the colleges I applied for. I'm ridiculous. Thank goodness I switched out of that major into a major I am particularly interested in. One that chose for myself and not from "hearing" about it. I'm happy and plan to go as far as I can with it.

After I graduate college. Years after I graduate college, I could be writing my thesis. I could be writing a dissertation. I could just be working. I could be a bum. I could be dead. I could be whatever I want! As long as I'm happy. With a loving husband and family.

Weary

I'm taking a break from my studies. I am extremely bored with nothing to do. Today I woke up @ 10:45am. I went to work from 12-2:30pm. I didn't feel like staying till 3 so I just left work 30 minutes early. At work, I was offered a cookie. That cookie was really good. I wonder what it was, but damn, it was chewy and delicious. I love when cookies are chewy. I hate crunchy cookies. So lately, my refrigerator reeks. I couldn't find the solution to the problem but today I just happen to finally point my finger on that problem. It was actually really disgusting considering I was the one who was the victim. Okay, so I enjoy to drink organic milk. I always make my mommy buy two cartons of organic milk. I drank the 1st carton and I had to finish the 2nd one. I was actually down to the very last portion of the milk, and there was at least one cup of milk left. The expiration date said 6/20/08. Tell me why it was false information? So I poured the remaining milk into my cup, eager to drink it. I took a gulp, and it was SO GROSS. I spit the milk out right away. Sigh, I've never taste something so rotten and decaying and clumpy. It was nasty, but at least I solve the solution to the smelly refrigerator. Now I feel like everything I eat taste like the milk. lol.

Feeling Weary.
How do I define inconsideration. How about uncaring to another person's feeling regarding to their own. Selfish. Ignorant at times. Maybe oblivious. Maybe knowing subconsciously. Perhaps just dumb. Perhaps not knowing at all. Maybe taking advantage of another person's consideration. Is it possible to rescue someone if perhaps they are 1 million feet under the ocean already? Is hanging by a threat possible to be pulled safely to the shores? Is there possibly a light at the end of the never ending tunnel? Will falling backwards actually be caught?

The best part of falling in love is the falling.
The best part of being in love is the being.
But what's the best part of love? There is no best part of love. Because love only consist of falling and being. Love is nothing more then just a chemical imbalance. Nothing more then entanglements of emotions.
And high levels of dopamine.
And low levels of serotonin.

Pictures

So as I was flipping through my photobucket. I looked at the pictures of me from a long time ago. I realized I grew up so much. For one thing, gosh I dressed super ugly back then, and my oh my, were my eyebrows thin. Sometimes I wonder, what the fuck was I thinking, wearing that ugly shit. On the bright side, at least I know how to do my makeup now. At least my eyebrows are thicker now, and I dress better now. Want to see how I progress throughout my high school days? Well I think I only have pictures of me as a Junior in high school to my present. You don't want to see my middle school pictures. They are hideous because I had braces and I thought it was cute of me to smile, but looking back at the pictures, I look like a monster. Okay. Nevermind. I was looking at the pictures again. I decided I don't want to show it. LOL. I realized its so ugly. hehe. Too bad for you curious blog readers! Just kidding. Who actually really reads my blogs beesides the friends on my Integrals!

FUN-tastic WeekendS

The past couple weekends, I've been having so much fun. Gosh it makes me hate being in Davis, but education is always about sacrifices. I hate when I have to go back to Davis. Usually the week flies by because of my schedule. Lately I've been more busy because I work now! Well good news, next week are finals! Finals are the best because nothing is after it. I get to relax for a week before I go back to Davis for some summer school. I've been going home for the last 3 weeks, and each week was exhilarating fun!

This weekend was extremely fun. Vu's sister had an engagement ceremony and after they threw a big BBQ. I had the best time ever. We all did. At first it was weird, and we were like, man I've never drank in the daytime. It was definitely a new experience hanging around the older kids though. They sadly thought we were 16. lol By the time it was like 3pm, everyone was wasted and happy! Me and Vu knocked out at 8pm. We fell asleep because we were intoxicated so early in the day. Actually, we all fell asleep. Nobody had the energy to do anything. Also we were up at like 7:30am. I had a lot of fun though. I remember Joe's repeated phrase of "Dude, you're so cool. Why's everyone so cool?" Also, I was very composed and I found the cure to the Asian glow. Me and Joe were extremely delighted because we looked sober the whole time. In addition, there happened to be a Professor at Davis present at the engagement party. lol. I made sure I introduced myself to him. I had a nice conversation with him, even though I was extremely buzz, I manage to compose myself so well I could have fooled anyone. He was so kind and gave me a bunch of tips about school for future references whenever I consider to get myself into professional schooling. I felt bad, he told me his wife just past away like a week ago. But on the other hand, he told me about how successful his kids were. Overall, engagement was super duper wonderful. I remember laughing a lot. Best time ever<3 Congratulations Cam & Ngoc.

The weekend before that was my sister's engagement party. Congrats Linh Phuong & Tommy. I had lots of fun too. Well during the ceremony wasn't fun. The BBQ was cool because everyone I grew up stopped by. The after party was really fun. I had the best time ever again. Well as always, parties always first start off awkward but eventually when everyone is under the influence of alcohol, people begin to let their personality unravel. Then everyone becomes cheerful and happy! I thought it was funny because we were looking for Shaun and when we found him, he was sitting on the floor with a bunch of strangers playing kings cup. lol

For this week, on Sunday was fun too. We randomly decided to eat at Cheesecake Factory because due to different cravings, our group of friends could not decide on where to eat. But the one thing we agreed on was the Cheesecake Factory. It was me, vu, roy, sylvia, danny, joe, and shaun. At the Cheesecake Factory, everyone was please to find the menu had everything that we wanted on to eat! We all got happy and ate the yummy chocolate bread. I got a peach smoothie that was SO worth the 6 dollars. Damn that smoothie was so good! After eating at Cheesecake Factory, we didn't know what to do. We decided to go to target to buy the board game Cranium. That is seriously the funnest game in the world. When all arrived at Target, each of us end up buying our own game. All of us decided we wanted to play a variety of games. Vu bought himself scrabbles, Shaun got Cranium, Joe bought Apples to Apples, I bought Scattergories. We were so happy and couldn't wait to open it. We played Cranium when we went to Vu's house. Gosh that game is REALLY fun. We stayed up till 5am. lol. I didn't even want to go back to Davis.

My weekend was so cool. I was so unproductive but I didn't care. I can't wait till schools over!
<3 love my friends a lot lot lot lot